THE RANGE ROVER
No Need to Carry a Vanity Mirror
The Range Rover is a large luxury four wheel drive Sport Utility Vehicle (SUV) produced by British car maker Land Rover. The model, launched in 1970, is now in its third generation. Range Rover is being developed by Land Rover as its premium brand, which means proper glue and less chewing gum, it also meanes higher repair costs. In 1967, the first Range Rover prototype was built, with the classic Range Rover shape clearly discernible. The design of the Range Rover was finalised in 1969 it was rushed to be finished so the designers could have a break to do some acid and pot during the 70's.
The modern Range Rover is a luxury prestige car and are both sleek and stylish in their looks. The terrain response system in the newer models allows them to easily negotiate tricky manoevers such as getting onto the car transporter or taking children to school over roads with sleeping policemen. Jeremy Clarkson has a Ranger Rover which he uses to save the planet from the evil of fuel by using it all.
The modern Range Rover is a luxury prestige car and are both sleek and stylish in their looks. The terrain response system in the newer models allows them to easily negotiate tricky manoevers such as getting onto the car transporter or taking children to school over roads with sleeping policemen. Jeremy Clarkson has a Ranger Rover which he uses to save the planet from the evil of fuel by using it all.
The first-generation Range Rover was produced between 1970 and 1996.The original car was not designed as a luxury-type 4x4 as rust was not considered luxurious at the time. After some bad acid in the 70's the second generation of Range Rover appeared 25 years from the introduction of the first-generation Range Rover, the second-generation Range Rover—model-designation P38A which was simply
some numbers they thought looked cool. The new model offered more equipment and premium trims made from real plastic positioning the vehicle above the Discovery on the breakdown transporter. |
In 2002, the third-generation model was introduced which saw the model move further up-market this was the beginning of the lazy period where they couldn't be arsed making a manual gearbox so simply fitted them all with automatic gearboxes.
Land Rover is reportedly testing the pre-production prototype of the fouth generation vehicle, codenamed L405 which stands for Lifespan 405 miles. |
There are two main variations of Range Rover (three if you count the Evoque but that will be covered later). First there is the Vogue often known as the 'full fat Range Rover' or FFRR for short. This name is derived from the large fat backsides gained from cruising about in one all day with a specially practiced look of self importance. There are two main types of FFRR owners, firstly there is the Queen and other royalty then the second group - people who came into money and want to rub it in your face because they have the social skills and conversational value of a leper in your dining room. There are various grades of 'new money' people from the very rich very dull variety, through to the 'I have a few bob' group who tend to have a four year old one on which they adorn a private plate to try hide the fact they are not really as rich as they think they are. You may occasionally see one off road, usually however this is accidental and caused by having consumed one too many chapagne cocktails or being surprised when other motorists fail to realise how 'important' the driver is and as a result has failed to get out of their way.
RANGE ROVER SPORT
The Footballers Choice
Then we have the Ranger Rover Sport or the 'pretty boy Land Rover'. On 26 November 2004, Land Rover released the first photographs of the Range Rover Sport, a new model it planned to show to the public for the first time at the 2005 North American International Auto Show. It is surprising that they did not shorten the name to RRS to simplify it for the American market but this may have been confused as said as a word it actually sounds like arse. This vehicle is more often bought by footballers and other people of low intellect who couldn't figure out that if they wanted a fast car they should have bought an Aston Martin. Generally these people do not like getting dirty, their manicured fingers might get damaged or their hair may get out of place, so this vehicle is not really going to go off road very often. This is handy however because with the low profile tyres and other impracticalities many owners adorn them with it often isn't up for it. Trans gender people may be seen driving these vehicles because as with the Range Rover Sports designer they are somewhat confused as to which end to stick the round peg in. They are not however a bad car, they are good at light off road terrain and are even capable of driving forward in snow. The latter of course being of no use in a nation (UK) that crashes after the first snowflake. The Range Rover Sport can be found with mud and dents on them, leaving many to think they are used by serious off roaders. This however is deceptive as this tends to be a result of footballers wives trying to park and finding that all the spaces in the world are the wrong size and shape for them.